Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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