Porn is love you can see.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
