we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
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apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
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Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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