Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you have feelings for this penis?