I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.