Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now