Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.