Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.

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  (925): it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee. http://tfl.nu/9pjs
  Replies (6) Good night (478) Bad night (874)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?

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  (202): like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"? http://tfl.nu/e2lv
  Replies (36) Good night (458) Bad night (2996)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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  (506): I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why. http://tfl.nu/rcz3
  Replies (18) Good night (4896) Bad night (1014)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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  (479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq
  Replies (20) Good night (1349) Bad night (4313)
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  (714): View more from California

  You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"

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  (714): You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party" http://tfl.nu/cx8m
  Replies (7) Good night (2564) Bad night (865)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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  (570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9
  Replies (6) Good night (2668) Bad night (521)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.

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  (214): Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time. http://tfl.nu/18ab
  Replies (19) Good night (2294) Bad night (423)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.

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  (509): My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood. http://tfl.nu/0wqb
  Replies (11) Good night (448) Bad night (3619)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit

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  (910): i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit http://tfl.nu/ocpj
  Replies (18) Good night (3970) Bad night (675)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  im coming over

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  (269): Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry (1-269): im coming over http://tfl.nu/72kd
  Replies (4) Good night (1238) Bad night (490)
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  (408): View more from California

  i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track

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  (408): i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track http://tfl.nu/rp6g
  Replies (8) Good night (602) Bad night (1136)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus

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  (419): Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus http://tfl.nu/mjlu
  Replies (11) Good night (1546) Bad night (895)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Judging by this purple one they got to second base.

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  (520): They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up. (520): Judging by this purple one they got to second base. http://tfl.nu/efot
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (302)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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  (206): I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra. http://tfl.nu/2ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (368) Bad night (445)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  1. Thanks. 2. No.

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  (704): She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister. (1-704): 1. Thanks. 2. No. http://tfl.nu/698u
  Replies (6) Good night (411) Bad night (845)

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