Umm I'm too high to move.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
