I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
