conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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