Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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