Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase

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(707): View more from California

just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink

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(517): View more from Michigan

I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.

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(410): View more from Maryland

dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity

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