Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.

  (323): View more from California

  to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.

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  (323): hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun. (323): to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend. http://tfl.nu/i9i1
  Replies (17) Good night (897) Bad night (3972)
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  (516): View more from New York

  My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say

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  (516): My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say http://tfl.nu/znzu
  Replies (32) Good night (1871) Bad night (5185)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My ATM looks so different sober.

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  (614): My ATM looks so different sober. http://tfl.nu/aska
  Replies (7) Good night (2284) Bad night (790)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.

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  (503): I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it. http://tfl.nu/f96n
  Replies (6) Good night (2310) Bad night (593)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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  (618): Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka (816): You're so demanding. http://tfl.nu/w483
  Replies (3) Good night (1822) Bad night (1041)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.

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  (+44): I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though. http://tfl.nu/88hx
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  That was beautiful.

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  (775): True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate. (1-775): That was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/d63d
  Replies (4) Good night (1495) Bad night (954)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA

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  (413): They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA http://tfl.nu/xggi
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (489)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?

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  (214): Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being? http://tfl.nu/tmnj
  Replies (9) Good night (634) Bad night (753)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

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  (401): I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/cz9o
  Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (459)
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  (+63): View more from

  there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi

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  (+63): there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi http://tfl.nu/ylbm
  Replies (5) Good night (1126) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..

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  (336): I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain.. http://tfl.nu/5env
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Found an old burrito under my bed

  (415): View more from California

  You are a sick fuck

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  (510): Found an old burrito under my bed (415): You are a sick fuck http://tfl.nu/1myp
  Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.

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  (306): we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads. http://tfl.nu/m4cs
  Replies (1) Good night (902) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?

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  (813): So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance? http://tfl.nu/tosl
  Replies (3) Good night (591) Bad night (355)

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