Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
