Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
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How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.