And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You just missed an honest to god bukkake