Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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