He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
