Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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