hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I would ride that face into the sunset
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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