we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He? As in you personified your dick?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
