He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize