we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
