btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
