Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
