I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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