I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
