Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
