Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
