He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I want her autograph on my taint
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
