No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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