i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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