And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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