What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
