I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sponge bath it is.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
