omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
