she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
