I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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