I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
