a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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