i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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