so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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