Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Congratulations! We have a period
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