i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize