look no pants
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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