if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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