just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
