Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
