oh god the rape fog is back!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i out mim tonsoeep
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