Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
