Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
