I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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