I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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