Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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