I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
