Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize