Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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