I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
