i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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