i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
