dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
