dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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