theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
