I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize