he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize