I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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